If you have ever felt overwhelmed by life’s circumstances, this song is a beautiful reminder that you are not alone.

Here by Kari Jobe

Verse 1:

Come and rest here
Come and lay your burdens down
Come and rest here
There is refuge for you now

Pre Chorus:

You’ll find His peace
And know you’re not alone anymore
He is near
You’ll find His healing
You’re heart isn’t shattered anymore
He is here

Chorus:

Breathe in
Breathe out
You will
You will find Him here

Bridge:

I will rest in You

Outro:

You will find Him
You will find Him here
You will find Him
You will find Him here

I can still remember the sense of hope I felt when I got to the end of the book and watched Much Afraid discover that as she accepted those strange companions [Sorrow and Suffering] their names were changed to Joy and Peace.  They became her guides; they shaped her soul.  It was my first inkling of a bedrock principle of the heart:  If you want to have real joy in life, then be willing to let pain tutor your soul.  [emphasis added.]

I need to deal with pain so it can deal with me!  Sadly many do just the opposite => burying, diminishing, or ignoring painful emotions in the hope they will simply go away.  It does not work that way as the author (a therapist by trade) attests.

In the healing of the heart and body, the same paradox is at work:  If you step into the pain, you find it lessens.  The screaming wound is slowly transformed into an old scar – more sensitive to the touch, perhaps, but the ache is dulled and occasional.  The fear does not control you.

It turns out that playing it safe, at least in matters of the heart, is the most dangerous thing you can do.  By that route, you become a butterfly pinned to the wall, with wonderful colors and all kinds of potential but going nowhere.  Your wings are clipped.  To really fly, you must claim the courage to live out of your real self, the one God called into being.  [emphasis added.]

She also stressed the importance of journaling and solitude:

Even if you only pick up paper and pencil when something is needling you, journaling pays some of the richest returns in discovering your heart.  “How else can we learn about ourselves if not by forcing our hands to tell the truth about our hearts?”  Nicole Johnson writes.  It is incredible to see the way feelings and conclusions you did not know you even had slip out the end of a pencil.  Then you know how much more to pray.  Journaling is like a farmer tilling the soil – only this is the earth of your life that’s being tilled.  The seeds of truth sink in much deeper, and God shapes wisdom in your heart.  [emphasis added.]

And some advice for those of you intimidated by the very thought of journaling:

Let me encourage you that journaling is not like any other kind of writing you ever do.  It’s not an essay or anything that has to look polished.  In journaling, you don’t think so hard.  You just take an open-ended sentence like, “What’s bothering me about this situation is…” and you begin to write.  And you write and write until all your feelings and thoughts are spent.  It helps to write out the worst of how you are feeling – all of the crummy parts you hope no one ever finds, the embarassing-to-read stuff.  Then ask God to give you some insight and begin to write again – only this time, with the reassuring truths you sense God would say to you in the place where you’re stuck.

I would like to add that a book such as THIS ONE can be very helpful especially if you are not familiar with God’s word.  It was where I sought “reassuring truths” when facing my own overwhelming season of pain and loss.  I think that is why the first passage struck me so deeply… as Much Afraid accepted Sorrow and Suffering as her companions on the journey, their names were changed to Joy and Peace.

The above image features two different words I had prayerfully chosen as part of my annual One Little Word challenge.  As I worked through my own sorrow and suffering, I grieved and allowed God’s reassuring truths bring me to a place of wholeness.  Journaling through the experience just as the author described, was key to my emotional healing.

The author also shared the poignant connection between working through pain and living life with passion. 

Passion is a two-sided coin on which joy is wedded, inextricably, to sorrow, and wisdom is purchased at the feet of suffering.  You won’t know many moments of being Cinderella at the ball without sweeping up your own pile of ashes and cinders.  The real prizes are never cheap.

Interestingly enough, the Latin origin of the word passion is pati, which means “to suffer.”  When I look at my own life story, the passion I have for photography was BORN out of that very season of overwhelming pain and loss mentioned earlier.  Never planned for or expected many of the roads traveled but I am ever grateful for where I am today.  Looking back, I would not change a thing.

If you find yourself struggling with emotions (or lack of emotions because of stuffing things down for so long), perhaps it’s time to put pencil to paper and let pain tutor your soul.

I’m in a rut.  It happens every year at about this time.  The problem with this year is, I’m really noticing it because of that pesky little word I chose:

JOY

Being in a rut does not bring a whole lotta joy.  After a 3-day crap sugar binge, I realized it was time to put pen to paper to figure out what it was I really needed.  [Laffy Taffy was clearly not the answer.]  Here’s a list of “needs” I came up with:

1.  I know that after spending time in groups of people (cropping, social gatherings, workshops/classes, bible study & photo sessions) I need time alone to process and refill.  For me, this alone time is best spent reading or in my journal.  If I fail to take care of myself in this way, I become crabby, impatient, and detached.

2.  I need time in nature.  I am not very good about filling this need when the weather turns cold, but it is something that brings me peace and allows me to slow down.

3.  I know that I do well when things are planned ahead of time.  I am working at becoming more flexible with last-minute changes and being spontaneous but I have a need for planning.  This is one reason that planning our family meals in advance helps.  I feel less stressed when I have ingredients on hand for dinner and when I know exactly what we will be doing each night.

4.  I need to surround myself with authentic souls.  I thrive in relationships that are deep and meaningful.

5.  I know I have a tendency to revert to unhealthy patterns when under stress.  I need to be mindful of my thoughts and actions to make sure I am processing things in a healthy way.  I know that relying on unhealthy coping mechanisms (shopping, alcohol, abusing food or exercise) puts me at risk of relapse.

6.  I know that God is first, and must always remain first, in my life.  I need regular time in the bible.  His word is the filter by which I process everything in my life – my guide for a healthy me, marriage, mothering, finances, friendship, and purpose in life.  Without it, I feel lost and scrambly and chaotic.

7.  As the only girl in a house of boys/men, I honor the girl in me by taking over the television once in a while to watch a movie just for me.  (The latest girl craving I plan to indulge?  Reading the Little House in the Prairie series.)

8.  I need to take care of myself inside and out, applying the same thoughtfulness and care I did prior to marriage and motherhood.

9.  I take care of myself by building margin into my life and calendar.  I need margin.

10.  I take care of myself by serving others.  Reaching out to others who are hurting takes the focus off of me.  I learned this poignant lesson years ago during the time surrounding my first pregnancy loss.  My husband was working late one night, when I heard a knock at the door.  An elderly woman had gotten lost in our neighborhood and needed directions to a location several miles away.  I was knee deep in grief at the time, waiting to lose the child that had died inside of me.  As easy as it would have been for me to give her a list of directions and close the door, I felt a nudge to really help.  I pulled our two young children out of bed and loaded them into the van so I could show the elderly woman where to go.  Her sense of gratitude was overwhelming.  It was a relief to have my thoughts somewhere else for a brief amount of time.  Helping that woman took the focus off of me and allowed me to experience JOY during a painful, painful time.

11.  I need free time to create, explore my thoughts, and explore the world.

12.  I know I need to take responsibility for my feelings and my feelings.  Others are not responsible for making me feel better nor am I responsible for making them feel better.

I also made a list of everyday things to shake things up – to turn routine on its side for a bit.  And I feel so much better now.    How about you?  How are you managing the mid-winter blahs?

1.  I could try to bury the grief, turn it off and ignore it.
2.  I could let it saturate every part of my life and dwell on every “what if” imaginable.
3.  Or I could accept death as a part of living, facing the loss while still celebrating the life – giving myself room to mourn while at the same time maintaining a grateful awareness of God’s presence in the midst.

I chose the latter, refusing to allow grief and loss to prevent me from LIVING.  Each day.  Each breath.  Each moment to the fullest.  When facing difficult circumstances (the loss of a child, terminal illness, financial upheaval, a physical or mental disability, an accident, unemployment) LIVING is often done in the shadows – if even at all. 

If you are here today reading this, no matter what circumstances or difficulties you might face – God has a plan for you.  Purpose.  You are not here by accident.  You are not here TODAY by accident. 

I realize it is very easy to lose sight of this fact in the shadows.

I share this with you because it is something God shared with me during a dark place in my life.  He used others who had experienced pain and loss to minister to me.  He made His love real at a time that I needed it most.  And for that very reason, the darkest time in my life also became the brightest.

Worthy of celebration.

Which is exactly what I had in mind when I ordered this birthday cake for a friend in the midst of an unimaginable battle.

May every day, every breath, every moment be worthy of celebration.

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

These images are from a recent senior session with a lovely young woman I introduced to you once before (click HERE for details). Her mom is a dear friend who ministered to me during a terrible season of grief. Sadly, their family recently suffered a deep loss of their own and my heart is all wrapped up in it.

I found these two images especially poignant and wanted to share them in a post all its own.  The jersey in the image below belonged to Julianne’s brother.  She wanted to incorporate it into the session. 

I knew the sunlight was spectacular when I captured this shot but it took my breath away when I saw the image on my computer.  To me, it looked as if she was basking in the healing light of God’s presence.  A reminder that He is there watching over her heart.

The Lord is my light and my salvation -
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life -
of whom shall I be afraid?
For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock…
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.

- Psalm 27:1, 5, 13-14

It was early in this journey (6+ years ago) that I created a special journal for my grandma.  I filled it with questions I wanted answered (What was it like when she first fell in love?  When and how did she first learn to drive?  What was her early marriage like?  What did she remember about her own grandparents?) and told her I would come looking for it after she was gone.

Guess what I went looking for and finally found over the weekend?!!!

Words cannot even begin to describe how much this book means to me. To see Grandma’s handwriting, to learn things about her I have never known. (For example, she never learned how to ride a bike… I NEVER KNEW THAT!)

You can only imagine how incredibly special it was to read her words aloud to my grandpa – her husband of 65 years. He offered additional details, even some of his own stories. It made me wish SO BADLY she would have answered all of the questions, not just a handful.

I talk OFTEN at the faithbooking crops about the importance of our words and stories. Each one of us has an important opportunity to create and leave tangible remembrances of our lives. A legacy. We have the opportunity to give our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren (and beyond) a glimpse into their heritage that extends well beyond mere images. You see, in reading Grandma’s journal I also found pieces of myself.

Those connections help define a family and sense of identity. It feels even more important now that I’m on the receiving end of the journal. So much so, that I am going to make one (each) for Tony and myself to pass along to our children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and beyond.  [I'll be sure to post my list of 100+ questions here as well so you can compile a journal of your own!]

And yes - I know I have shared the song below at least a million times but it was playing in the background as I was working on these images, serving as a powerful reminder. I just had to share it again.

If you want to leave your mark in this way, don’t put it off!  None of us has a clue as to what tomorrow might bring (Proverbs 27:1).

It seems Grandma was one popular lady. My mom and I spent the day with my grandpa yesterday, he’d already opened and read all of the cards. (He said it nearly knocked him out and I believe it!) I volunteered to help with the thank you notes, thus the piles pictured above.

I just wanted to hop on and let you know that 5 Fun Things Friday will return later this week. (No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t pull it off on the heels of Grandma’s funeral.) I also wanted to remind everyone again of our brief Faithbooking Crop hiatus.

By the way, I am reading THE BEST BOOK that so relates to how I’m feeling right about life in general.  (I’d given away a copy loooooong ago before even reading it myself.)

Here’s an excerpt of the foreward, written by Rick Warren:

Nothing focuses a person’s priorities in life like learning he is about to die. Many of us would suddenly realize we have spent our lives on things that were not very important. So many of us waste our lives with “when and then” thinking, believing that “when” this or that happens, “then” we will really start living and do something for God that really matters.

That approach is guaranteed to leave you with regrets.

The book (One Month to Live by Kerry and Chris Shook) can be found by clicking HERE.  While we don’t have a ton of say in the when (i.e. birthdate, timing, span), we are given much freedom in the how.  How are you…

• loving?
• living?
• creating a legacy?
• blessing others?
• spending this precious commodity [time]?

Big things worth pondering today.

My grandma lost her battle with pancreatic cancer last night. Thanks to all who have held her close in prayer.

His little life is reflected so powerfully in the emotions captured here – everything from his mother’s heartwrenching sorrow to tiny glimpses of joy.  It makes me want to purpose to live more fully.

To love more fully.

Because life is but a breath.

“LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be.
Remind me that my days are numbered—
how fleeting my life is.
You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.
My entire lifetime is just a moment to you;
at best, each of us is but a breath.”
- Psalm 39:4-5 (NLT)